Weaponized Hospitality

Preamble

I have used this term in a number of ways over the years and some people stare at me and some people are just scared by combining the words. To Heathens, Hospitality is a Virtue and, like in a number of cultures, an important responsibility. One of the jokes when you go to Pagan gatherings is that the Heathens will have every kind of bottle opener and likely extra food. I don’t pretend to be perfect on this, as any member of my family could tell you, but I always try to remember that.

One of our common rituals is known as Sumbel. In the tradition I follow, a Sumbel is often an annual or sometimes more often gathering to render toasts and celebrate community. It is inspired by rites from long ago when travel was time consuming, dangerous and complex and gatherings might only happen once a year. A Sumbel was a time when community would gather and share. Our tradition has three rounds: 1) To the gods or a god; 2) To an ancestor (Which can be of spirit, if you want to salute a hero) and; 3) A brag about a deed you have achieved this year. As you can see, this also would be almost like a newspaper as you would tell others what you achieved and possibly even announce a death in the family. After that, it continues until the host or community feels it is done.

I have attended Sumbel over the years both indoors and out. It is especially powerful done around a fire circle and I recommend this to anyone who can attend one. (Perhaps this is a hint that I should host one this year.)

This is just intended to be illustrative of one of our practices and our value for hospitality and community. We believe in family, friends, family of choice and having your back. I will admit that this might have been long preamble but, I do not know who might read this and I wanted to explain some background before jumping to the larger point:

The Meat - Hospitality as a Tool for the Fight

I first used the term Weaponized Hospitality in the first Trump administration. Things are bad now. Really bad. Maybe even Fimbulwinter bad at times, or at least it can feel that way. In dark times where travel is dangerous and people are scared of the monster at the door, we need a safe, warm place to eat and drink and share stories. Hospitality helps to restore our Courage. Our Courage MUST hold fast. We cannot give up because soon the bell will ring and it will be time for your next round OR for the person you are supporting. (To continue the boxing metaphors, maybe I am your corner man.)

I knew when I came up with this that I was not getting any younger but I had other resources to offer and some parts of the fight would need younger people. I chose to start thinking about how to be the Host for those who needed to fight along with other things, although I did go to protests as security for medics. (Back then, various police forces were attacking the medics.) This led to my concept, partially influenced by my beliefs but also by things I saw. While the protests subsided a bit around COVID and I took up other work (https://substack.com/@15rounds/p-156010126) , I do feel there is one lesson I took of value from them.

In the DC protest scene, there were people called: “Care Bears”. They came to protests with their versions of a “Mom bag”. They would carry: Water, food, sunscreen, safety pins, hair ties, tampons, whatever they could think of. There were also those who just carried backpacks full of water, which could be used to drink or wash off tear gas. THAT is my best example of Weaponized Hospitality but here are some others:

• Host meetings at your house

• Host game nights at your house to let people let off steam

• Offer Toasts, Storytelling and celebration of things that have been done

• Encourage Joy (Joy is also a tool and a weapon, as is Pleasure)

• Encourage Music and Dancing

A Note from Dan Savage on surviving the AIDS crisis (last postscript):

“The next four years are gonna suck. But they’ll suck worse if we let the news cycle — and the man who dominates it — drain the joy from our lives. We need to pay attention and we need to stay in the fight. Because of course we do. But we should spend as much time as we possibly can over the next four years with friends and lovers doing things that bring us joy. Anyone who tells you that making time for joy — however you define it — is a distraction or a betrayal has no idea what they’re talking about. During the darkest days of the AIDS Crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced at night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for. It didn’t look like we were going to win then and we did. It doesn’t feel like we’re going to win now but we could. Keep fighting, keep dancing.”

https://www.portlandmercury.com/savage-love/2025/01/21/47609318/savage-love-trump-and-dump

Joy and Pleasure in all of their forms have value.

In Praise of Pleasure Activism