Being in Someone Else’s Corner
More Formal Thoughts on Supporting Others
I honestly thought I had already written this but, when I searched my work, I found I used the term corner a lot but never explicitly talked about it. So, let’s start with a definition from Wikipedia:
“In combat sports, a cornerman, or second, is a coach or trainer assisting a fighter during a bout. The cornerman is forbidden to instruct and must remain outside the combat area during the round. In the break, they are permitted to enter the ring and minister to their fighter.
The cornerman may perform cutman duties such as applying ice or adrenaline to reduce swelling and stop bleeding. The cornerman may also be responsible for throwing in the towel when necessary.”
So, technically, many boxers (my primary source and inspiration for my Substack title) actually have a cornerman AND a cutman. The cornerman is frequently a coach who has worked at length with the fighter while the cutman is serving as a more specialized medic but, as stated, the cornerman may take on all of those duties if no one else is available.
This became part of common parlance as being in someone’s corner. It is a common phrase even if you don’t follow boxing, UFC, et cetera. It is equivalent to having someone’s back but I would argue that there are deeper meanings in terms of commitment.
So, how does this apply to fighting Fascism and surviving our current times? Let’s start with breaking down those duties above as well as draw from other sources. https://dynamicstriking.com/blogs/news/corner-man-boxing
Acting as a coach or trainer OUTSIDE the Ring DURING the round
Acting to take care of the person BETWEEN rounds
Acting to dress wounds BETWEEN rounds (Some of this is metaphorical or psychological)
Acting to encourage the fighter at all times (this isn’t mentioned above but we have all seen and heard that).
Providing strategic advice based on what you see from outside the ring and know from your larger experience
Knowing when to “throw in the towel” and stop the fight to protect your person.
Knowing and looking out for all of their equipment
Before I go any further, remember that I use all of this as a metaphor. As I said elsewhere, I view our modern anti-Fascism as hundreds or thousands of little boxing rings where each of us has to face individual choices every day about how to resist, survive and push towards victory. Any tiny action helps move our nation, and our world, back to where it needs to be and none of us can predict which action will be the final straw, if there is such a thing. Also, consent is KEY. You cannot be in someone’s corner if they don’t want you to be and you should err on the side of caution on this point. If someone asks you to back off, DO THAT. I think most of us can do #4 above safely at most times but anything beyond that needs to be negotiated with the person. I would argue that I am doing #4 for anyone reading this and you can choose not to read.
So, how do you train and prepare for such a role? Here is a list in no particular order:
Take First Aid, Stroke, Narcan and Bleed Control classes
Take a Mental Health First Aid class
Carefully monitor your own situation and take breaks and seek assistance when you need it. You cannot take care of others if you are not stable. This includes taking breaks from media as needed AND controlling what your media intake is.
Maintain friendships and contacts wherever you can. We are social creatures and did not survive as rugged individualists.
Find and consume positive stories. These give us hope and can be shared.
Exercise. This reduces your stress and prepares you for actions to come. (I used shadow and mirror boxing to prepare for this writing.)
Find whatever meditation practice works for you. (Meditations can be physical. I used putting on my hand wraps for the boxing workout for this writing.)
Meet people where they are, not where you wish them to be. This is NOT about you.
If you are doing anything but #4 above, have a serious conversation with the person whose corner you wish to be in. Actually, have multiple conversations. ESPECIALLY if the two of you agree that you have the right to call for #6 above. That is no small thing and there has to be a LOT of trust. Throwing in the towel, in boxing parlance, means ending the fight to the referee and declaring the perceived opponent the winner. It is a major responsibility and the person “in the ring” will be hyper focused on that battle and cannot see things from your perspective.
Whatever you choose to do, I am cheering you on and in your corner as I can be. As long and painful as this first round has been, remember there are more and pace yourself. There is so much more to come and to fight.
Take heart!
Help others!
15 Rounds! I Didn’t Hear No Bell!